You know how you can hear a song 1,000 times and the 1,001st time you hear it, a line REALLY jumps out at you that hasn't before? That happened to me recently. I love to listen to Casting Crowns when I'm on the treadmill or walking in the Battlefield. (My playlist is called 'Jesus Running Music :) Anyway...some time ago, I was listening to Casting Crown's song "East to West". Of course I've heard the song many times, but this one particular time, a line just resonated in my head! Then today, it happened again. Same song. Same line.
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
I started thinking about situations where we hold on to stuff. Since I was walking at the time, one of the first things that came to my mind was exercising. When was the last time you tried to do a pull up, or as we used to call them in the "old days", chin up? You remember those, right? Those horrible things where you hold on to a metal bar above your head and pull your ENTIRE body weight up to where your chin is over that stupid bar, then you drop back down and just hang there until you muster the strength to do it again. UGH!! Just the THOUGHT of those makes me hurt all over! Anyway...back to my illustration. The point is, you have to hold on to that bar. And it doesn't take long for it to really start hurting. Your hands start cramping up, or they start getting sweaty and then start slipping. It's really tough holding on for very long. You eventually have to drop to the ground because you can't keep your grasp any longer.
The other thing that popped into my mind when I was thinking about holding on to stuff, was my kids. You know how when your babies are little and you are out anywhere with them, you have a death grip on their little hands because you don't want them to run off from you and a bad person kidnap them...(surely I wasn't the ONLY one who told my kids that....) anyway. When you are a mom or dad and you have your little one out, say, crossing the street, you have their tiny little hand firmly in yours. No matter how much they wiggle and squirm, your hand is a vice around theirs. There is NO WAY you are going to let them go. You are holding on to them to protect them, and you will do that for as long as is necessary. But here's the thing. Eventually, your hand is going to get tired. You may hold on to that little one's hand for HOURS...but at some point, you are going to HAVE to loosen your grip.
I have several other illustrations running through my head, but you can probably think of some more on your own, so I'll move along to how this ties in to the song lyric.
As hard as we try, with all of our human strength to hold on to things, we just can't do it. That includes "holding on" to God. Friend, can I just tell ya...that is 100%, totally, completely impossible!! We can't do it. But here's the awesome thing... WE DON'T HAVE TO!! He (God) is holding on to us! Woo Hoo!! He's not going to run out of strength, get tired and sweaty, lose his grip. I mean, HELLO...He's GOD!!! We don't have to exhaust ourselves trying to do things that will make Him love us or keep us or help us or take care of us. He's got it.
Let me give you a few examples of how I've seen this in action.
There is a precious young couple at our church who have been in the process for a LONG time now, of adopting a little girl from Peru. This little girl is deaf and she has some other health issues. But God put her into this sweet family's heart as THEIR daughter. The process of adoption has been long and VERY expensive. There have been stumbling blocks, both major and minor thrown in the way. But this wonderful couple has said from the beginning "God's got this." They do not have to worry because they KNOW He's in control. He's holding on to them.
I have a co-worker who got married some time back, thinking the man she married was the will of God for her life. Unfortunately, the man was a liar. I do not know the whole story, but I do know he took advantage of her financially. When the truth about this joker finally came out, my friend was in pretty dire straits financially. She had to pick up a second job. But you know what? I never heard her complain. Sure. It was hard on her. But you know what I heard when I talked to her personally and read on her very public FB posts? I heard her praising God and giving thanks for His protection and provision. She knows God is holding on to her. When she is exhausted from having to work 70 hours a week, she doesn't have to worry about trying to hold on to her "religion". Oh no...Her God is holding on to her.
One of my dearest friends lives in Texas. I haven't seen her in over 7 years, but she was in my life during a time when I really needed her godly influence. We shared lots of laughs and lots of tears during the time she lived down the street from me. When I found out she was moving to Texas, I was devastated. Crushed. I cried for weeks! I could NOT figure out why God would take away the only real friend I had. She has three boys whom I loved like my own kids. The youngest was just a baby when they moved. She knew at the time he had some kind of health issue, but she was struggling to figure out what it was. Over time, she learned that her little boy was non-verbal, autistic. Again, through Facebook (what in the WORLD would we do without social media??) I keep up with her life and her struggles that she faces daily living with an autistic child. I can tell, even from 700 miles away, that she gets tired, emotionally and physically. My heart longs to be able to "give her a break" and take care of that sweet boy for the day. But I can't do that. As I continue to read her posts, I see that even when she is completely exhausted, she rests in the truth that she knows with all her heart. God's got this. He's holding on to her. She doesn't have to worry.
One last one... I have another co-worker. Super sweet, godly lady. I'm not sure of the timeline of the events, but her daughter-in-law was either pregnant and then found out she had cancer, or had cancer and then found out she was pregnant. Can't remember. Either way, it was NOT a good situation. She made it to 29 weeks, and they had to take the baby. NOW LISTEN TO ME HERE!! She did NOT abort the baby. OH NO!!! She gave birth to the baby!!! At 29 weeks!!!! This is the part that gives me chills about this story. They were thinking the baby would be a pound or so...but that precious little bundle of life was THREE POUNDS!!! And he was absolutely perfect!! I remember my friend telling me that story standing in the hall at school. I had chills all over and tears in my eyes! And our country says it's OK to kill babies at this stage of gestation...UGH! Sorry...I don't need to get on THAT soap box. That's for another blog I guess. Anyway...that precious baby boy had to stay in the hospital, obviously, for a LONG time. And while he was in the hospital, his sweet mama (whom I have never met) was being treated for cancer. I kept up with his progress through Facebook. He grew and grew and developed in every way he should. But you know the thing that those FB posts pointed out to me? They screamed "God's got this!" That sweet family never wavered from their faith that the God of the universe had that tiny little life square in the palm of His hand, and He was NOT letting him go! God was holding on to that teeny baby and his mama as she fought that cancer. They didn't have to worry about trying to find the energy or strength to hold on to Him!
I don't know about you, but that is just SO comforting to me!! I've had some JUNK go on in my life (as we all have had) and looking back on those times, it is plain as day that God was there, holding on to me. There is no way I would have made it through otherwise. You know the saying "If you aren't in the middle of a trial or storm, get ready because you're about to go through one." Take heart my friends. You don't have to worry about holding on to God...He's got this!!
Thursday, August 8, 2013
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
Do you believe the Word or don'tcha?
I have been thinking recently about all my really smart friends. More specifically, I have been thinking about where my really smart friends are going to be spending eternity. And it really scares me. Badly. I am going to have a LOT of friends in Hell.
If being smart gets one to Heaven, they would all be there for sure. If being a good person was the ticket, they would have no problem there either. But some of my really smart friends are going to be in Hell BECAUSE of their "smarts". They are too "smart" to have faith. They have too many questions for which they will not accept my or anyone else's (scriptural) answers. I have had conversations over the years with different people and the topics would turn to "religious" things. I would be promptly shut down because the person with whom I was conversing didn't want to hear what the Bible had to say about whatever the topic was. These same people would say things like, "Oh, I think there is a god." or "Jesus said we aren't supposed to pray in public" or "Why would a loving god let people go to Hell?" and the list goes on and on and on. Never was my response satisfactory.
While thinking about all this, I've decided it comes down to the answer to one little question. Do you believe the Bible or don'tcha? Yes or No? No no no no no...."I believe some of it." is NOT an option. "Yes...but" is NOT an option. "Well....." is NOT an option. Either you believe the Bible in it's divinely inspired entirety or you don't. The end.
Every answer to every question is in there. In Ephesians 6:17, the Word is referred to as the "sword of the Spirit". It's a defensive weapon. People in Bible times knew about swords. They didn't have AK-47's back then ya know....So they understood about what it meant to have a sword. If their sword had some kind of defect, it was pretty much useless to them in battle. Who would want to take a chance going into battle with a defective sword...even if it was a LITTLE defect? Would YOU want to take that chance? Well, if the Bible isn't what it says it is...even in ONE little part, how could anyone trust ANY of it? If that Noah and the Ark thing is just a story we learn as kids in Sunday School, how can we know that the rest of the book is not just a story?
I was thinking about some of the comments/questions I've heard from various people over the years. Lets look into a few of them, shall we?
1. "Scientists know that the Earth is blah-blah-blah billion years old...blah-blah-blah evolution....blah-blah-blah big bang...blah-blah-blah..." Ok... first off, I've never seen a billion year old scientist, so how do they KNOW anything about the Earth billions of years ago. "Well, they have studied fossil records and carbon dating and yada-yada-yada". So what you're telling me is that YOUR faith is in a finite man's understanding of what some other finite man has decided is true. Thanks, but no thanks. And YOU question ME and consider me "uninformed" because of MY "faith"?? Geez!!! It seems to me it takes a WHOLE lot more "faith" to believe that this amazing, vast, indescribable universe that we are just a miniscule part of came about because of some cosmic explosion than it does to believe what the Bible says in its very first verse... "In the beginning GOD created the heavens and the earth". See, the answer is right there. Do you believe the Bible or don'tcha? Now, don't get into the "Well, HOW did He create it?" or "Was it really seven days as we know seven days, or were there billions of years between each "day" of creation?" I mean, really? Who cares???? He's GOD for cryin' out loud!! He can do whatever He wants to do!! (BTW...I personally believe it was a literal seven days, but I don't want to go into all that here....just FYI)
2. "Jesus was a good man. A teacher. A prophet. But he was a JUST a man, NOT God." I have to chuckle at this one. Check out Matthew 3:17. "and behold, a voice out of the heavens said, "This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased."" This was the occasion of Jesus' baptism by John. Ok...so who else would this "voice from Heaven" be if not God Himself? Need another one? What about Matthew 17:5? Totally different time, and different people around. "While he was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!" Again, who is this "voice from Heaven", if not God? Here's another...Look at John 10:30. That verse comes right out with it too. Jesus himself says "I and the Father are one." Really not sure how you can get any more plain than that. But the one that REALLY tells the tale is the one that people have heard all their lives, but still have a hard time grasping. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." It's RIGHT THERE. It's in the book. Jesus is God's son. Are you going to believe it or not?
3. "Homosexuality is an 'alternative lifestyle'. I mean, love is love." Nope. Sorry. Not gonna buy into THAT lie!! Look up Leviticus 18: 22. Not really sure how it could be any more clear. It says " You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination." Need something a little more clear? Read on over in Leviticus 20: 13. "If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads." I'm not sure how anybody can get "God made me this way" or "God is love so He doesn't care who I love" out of those verses. This one is the clincher for me. Rom 1:26-27 "For this reason God gave them over (emphasis added) to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error." If God "gave them over" that means they weren't "born that way". They adopted that lifestyle because of the corruption of sin. Come on folks...it's RIGHT THERE. God does not create someone a homosexual. It is their OWN choice and sin being allowed to take root in their lives. Not my words. It's in the Book. Are you going to believe it or not?
4. "A loving God wouldn't doom a person to Hell." I totally agree with this one. It says so in
2 Peter 3:9 "The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance." God DOESN'T want anyone to go to Hell. Hell is a place created for Satan and his demons. It is not a place meant for humans. HOWEVER, we humans are born sinners.
Anybody that knows me very well, knows that my first grandchild was born in June. I think my first words when I saw him were, "He's perfect." And he is. That little rascal is absolutely perfect in every way. Except one. He is human. He is a sinner. At some point, (and I'm praying it will be early in his life) Karson is going to have to admit that he is a sinner and ask Christ to save him from eternal death. God wants that for him. Look at Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He (God) doesn't want ANYBODY to go to Hell. God made a way for Karson and every other human being ever born to be able to get to Heaven. It is laid out very clearly in Romans 10:9 "that if you confess with your mouth Jesus [as] Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved". I'm not sure how anybody can argue with that. It's pretty clear if you ask me.
5. "Well you know...I'm a good person. I've never killed anybody. I'm not worried about getting in to heaven." Do you realize that there are going to be LOTS of really good people in Hell? Check out the story in Luke 16:19-31. 22 “The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. 23 In Hades, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. 24 So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’ What Abraham says to this guy is really sad 25“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony." The rich guy had "stuff" when he was alive. He was a good guy. But he ended up in Hell. His "goodness" didn't do him one bit of good.
And for those who like to tell me they can "work their way in"...talk to me about these verses
Ephesians 2:8-9
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
The Bible says that the only way we can get to Heaven is by grace, through faith...that's it. Nothing more.
I'm sitting here thinking about all the other arguments I've heard that the Bible so clearly gives answers for. I could go on and on and on...But I won't. Because it all boils down to that one thing. You either believe the Bible or you don't. One last thing though...How do I know the Bible is what is says it is? Ummm well...it's right there. Read 2 Timothy 3:16 16All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; 17so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.
And for my final note...I have to admit I am NOT a Bible scholar. But I know the Bible is the true, legitimate, inerrant Word of God. How do I know that you ask? Because it has proven itself to me time and time again in the 46 years of my life on this planet. Now, are YOU goin to believe it, or not?
PS- Do you have a question about something in the scripture? Ask me on Facebook. I may not know the answer, but if I don't, I'll find someone who does. Just remember. My answer will be from scripture, so are you going to believe it if I do give it to you?
If being smart gets one to Heaven, they would all be there for sure. If being a good person was the ticket, they would have no problem there either. But some of my really smart friends are going to be in Hell BECAUSE of their "smarts". They are too "smart" to have faith. They have too many questions for which they will not accept my or anyone else's (scriptural) answers. I have had conversations over the years with different people and the topics would turn to "religious" things. I would be promptly shut down because the person with whom I was conversing didn't want to hear what the Bible had to say about whatever the topic was. These same people would say things like, "Oh, I think there is a god." or "Jesus said we aren't supposed to pray in public" or "Why would a loving god let people go to Hell?" and the list goes on and on and on. Never was my response satisfactory.
While thinking about all this, I've decided it comes down to the answer to one little question. Do you believe the Bible or don'tcha? Yes or No? No no no no no...."I believe some of it." is NOT an option. "Yes...but" is NOT an option. "Well....." is NOT an option. Either you believe the Bible in it's divinely inspired entirety or you don't. The end.
Every answer to every question is in there. In Ephesians 6:17, the Word is referred to as the "sword of the Spirit". It's a defensive weapon. People in Bible times knew about swords. They didn't have AK-47's back then ya know....So they understood about what it meant to have a sword. If their sword had some kind of defect, it was pretty much useless to them in battle. Who would want to take a chance going into battle with a defective sword...even if it was a LITTLE defect? Would YOU want to take that chance? Well, if the Bible isn't what it says it is...even in ONE little part, how could anyone trust ANY of it? If that Noah and the Ark thing is just a story we learn as kids in Sunday School, how can we know that the rest of the book is not just a story?
I was thinking about some of the comments/questions I've heard from various people over the years. Lets look into a few of them, shall we?
1. "Scientists know that the Earth is blah-blah-blah billion years old...blah-blah-blah evolution....blah-blah-blah big bang...blah-blah-blah..." Ok... first off, I've never seen a billion year old scientist, so how do they KNOW anything about the Earth billions of years ago. "Well, they have studied fossil records and carbon dating and yada-yada-yada". So what you're telling me is that YOUR faith is in a finite man's understanding of what some other finite man has decided is true. Thanks, but no thanks. And YOU question ME and consider me "uninformed" because of MY "faith"?? Geez!!! It seems to me it takes a WHOLE lot more "faith" to believe that this amazing, vast, indescribable universe that we are just a miniscule part of came about because of some cosmic explosion than it does to believe what the Bible says in its very first verse... "In the beginning GOD created the heavens and the earth". See, the answer is right there. Do you believe the Bible or don'tcha? Now, don't get into the "Well, HOW did He create it?" or "Was it really seven days as we know seven days, or were there billions of years between each "day" of creation?" I mean, really? Who cares???? He's GOD for cryin' out loud!! He can do whatever He wants to do!! (BTW...I personally believe it was a literal seven days, but I don't want to go into all that here....just FYI)
2. "Jesus was a good man. A teacher. A prophet. But he was a JUST a man, NOT God." I have to chuckle at this one. Check out Matthew 3:17. "and behold, a voice out of the heavens said, "This is My beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased."" This was the occasion of Jesus' baptism by John. Ok...so who else would this "voice from Heaven" be if not God Himself? Need another one? What about Matthew 17:5? Totally different time, and different people around. "While he was still speaking, a bright cloud covered them, and a voice from the cloud said, "This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased. Listen to him!" Again, who is this "voice from Heaven", if not God? Here's another...Look at John 10:30. That verse comes right out with it too. Jesus himself says "I and the Father are one." Really not sure how you can get any more plain than that. But the one that REALLY tells the tale is the one that people have heard all their lives, but still have a hard time grasping. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world, He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life." It's RIGHT THERE. It's in the book. Jesus is God's son. Are you going to believe it or not?
3. "Homosexuality is an 'alternative lifestyle'. I mean, love is love." Nope. Sorry. Not gonna buy into THAT lie!! Look up Leviticus 18: 22. Not really sure how it could be any more clear. It says " You shall not lie with a male as with a woman. It is an abomination." Need something a little more clear? Read on over in Leviticus 20: 13. "If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads." I'm not sure how anybody can get "God made me this way" or "God is love so He doesn't care who I love" out of those verses. This one is the clincher for me. Rom 1:26-27 "For this reason God gave them over (emphasis added) to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural, and in the same way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error." If God "gave them over" that means they weren't "born that way". They adopted that lifestyle because of the corruption of sin. Come on folks...it's RIGHT THERE. God does not create someone a homosexual. It is their OWN choice and sin being allowed to take root in their lives. Not my words. It's in the Book. Are you going to believe it or not?
4. "A loving God wouldn't doom a person to Hell." I totally agree with this one. It says so in
2 Peter 3:9 "The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance." God DOESN'T want anyone to go to Hell. Hell is a place created for Satan and his demons. It is not a place meant for humans. HOWEVER, we humans are born sinners.
Anybody that knows me very well, knows that my first grandchild was born in June. I think my first words when I saw him were, "He's perfect." And he is. That little rascal is absolutely perfect in every way. Except one. He is human. He is a sinner. At some point, (and I'm praying it will be early in his life) Karson is going to have to admit that he is a sinner and ask Christ to save him from eternal death. God wants that for him. Look at Romans 5:8 "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us." He (God) doesn't want ANYBODY to go to Hell. God made a way for Karson and every other human being ever born to be able to get to Heaven. It is laid out very clearly in Romans 10:9 "that if you confess with your mouth Jesus [as] Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved". I'm not sure how anybody can argue with that. It's pretty clear if you ask me.
5. "Well you know...I'm a good person. I've never killed anybody. I'm not worried about getting in to heaven." Do you realize that there are going to be LOTS of really good people in Hell? Check out the story in Luke 16:19-31. 22 “The time came when the beggar died and the angels carried him to Abraham’s side. The rich man also died and was buried. 23 In Hades, where he was in torment, he looked up and saw Abraham far away, with Lazarus by his side. 24 So he called to him, ‘Father Abraham, have pity on me and send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water and cool my tongue, because I am in agony in this fire.’ What Abraham says to this guy is really sad 25“But Abraham replied, ‘Son, remember that in your lifetime you received your good things, while Lazarus received bad things, but now he is comforted here and you are in agony." The rich guy had "stuff" when he was alive. He was a good guy. But he ended up in Hell. His "goodness" didn't do him one bit of good.
And for those who like to tell me they can "work their way in"...talk to me about these verses
Ephesians 2:8-9
8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:
9 Not of works, lest any man should boast.
The Bible says that the only way we can get to Heaven is by grace, through faith...that's it. Nothing more.
I'm sitting here thinking about all the other arguments I've heard that the Bible so clearly gives answers for. I could go on and on and on...But I won't. Because it all boils down to that one thing. You either believe the Bible or you don't. One last thing though...How do I know the Bible is what is says it is? Ummm well...it's right there. Read 2 Timothy 3:16 16All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; 17so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.
And for my final note...I have to admit I am NOT a Bible scholar. But I know the Bible is the true, legitimate, inerrant Word of God. How do I know that you ask? Because it has proven itself to me time and time again in the 46 years of my life on this planet. Now, are YOU goin to believe it, or not?
PS- Do you have a question about something in the scripture? Ask me on Facebook. I may not know the answer, but if I don't, I'll find someone who does. Just remember. My answer will be from scripture, so are you going to believe it if I do give it to you?
Saturday, June 22, 2013
A new twist on separation anxiety...
I am really a home body. I guess I always have been. Oh I went through a spell when I was a teenager where I REALLY wanted to get away...FAR away. But that never happened. I ended up making other choices that pretty much locked me in as a "home girl". I often joke with my husband, who has not lived anywhere CLOSE to his parents since he was 18, that I am farther from my folks now ( a whopping 20 minutes!) than I have ever been in my life. My sister did go away for a while, a couple of times...but she always came back "home".
When my girls were born, my family was all right there to be a part of their lives. Every time those kids did ANYTHING in church, at school, on the ball field, my parents were there. They NEVER missed an event if my girls were involved. I never really had to wonder IF they were going to be there. If I told them about the (insert whatever event was going on here), they were there. And I loved that. I loved that my parents were such (and still ARE such) awesome grandparents. They went to somebody's Grandparents' Day Lunch every single year the whole time my kids were in elementary school. And they loved that.
When Mike and I divorced, we had an understanding that neither of us would move out of the area until the kids were grown. We would not take them away from the other parent. So even when my girls weren't with me at home, they were close by. Then, in July of 2010, my oldest baby decided it was time to leave the nest. And boy did she ever leave! 450 miles away!!! That. Was. Hard!!! Every time she would come home and then leave again, I would cry...and cry... and cry. I kept wondering if it was EVER going to get any easier. So then, last year...she up and got married. I absolutely ADORE my son-in-law, so I thought maybe that would make it easier for me to see her leave after a visit because I knew he would be taking care of her. Nope. No luck. I still bawled my eyes out as they were pulling out of the driveway. "Could this possibly get any worse?" I asked myself. Surely not...
Wrong. Last week (6/12/13 at 7:29 PM) the most perfect little boy in the universe came into my world and absolutely, completely stole my heart. Karson Michael Cole was born. I had the indescribable privilege of being present for his birth (something for which I will be eternally thankful to my daughter and son-in-law!). I have also had the privilege of staying with the new little family for the last 10 days to help out as they become acclimated to their new lives. I have cooked a little...and done a little laundry. Just pretty much tried to help Kerri in any way I could. I have also been able to hang out with that beautiful boy a bunch too... you know, the "Nana/Karson bonding" thing.
But now. whew....this is where the anxiety thing comes in.
It is now time for me to go home. Kerri is doing a FANTASTIC job. I am SO very proud of her! She is just the BEST little mommy! Of course I never doubted that she would be. She has always been great with kids. And Karson truly is a perfect baby. He rarely cries. He just eats and sleeps and looks around and checks out this crazy world he was brought in to. So I honestly don't feel that Kerri needs me anymore.
Rog really thought I was going to stay until the first week of July. And I probably would have if things had not gone as smoothly as they have. But I do think it's time. And I hate it. I absolutely, positively, from the depth of my soul...HATE it. In less than 24 hours I am going to have to get in that car and ride (there is no possible way I could drive. I would be a hazard to myself and everyone else on the road) for 6 hours knowing that I'm not going to get to see that precious bundle again for at least 3 weeks! But worse than THAT (in my head) is that he's not going to get to see ME!! I have this horrible thought in my head that he's not going to know me...that when he finally does see me, he's going to be hesitant to come to me...he's going to run and hide because I'm a stranger. That makes me totally sick at my stomach. So I am having a MAJOR case of separation anxiety.
It's going to be hard. Very very hard. But it's life, and I have to figure out how to handle it.
When my girls were born, my family was all right there to be a part of their lives. Every time those kids did ANYTHING in church, at school, on the ball field, my parents were there. They NEVER missed an event if my girls were involved. I never really had to wonder IF they were going to be there. If I told them about the (insert whatever event was going on here), they were there. And I loved that. I loved that my parents were such (and still ARE such) awesome grandparents. They went to somebody's Grandparents' Day Lunch every single year the whole time my kids were in elementary school. And they loved that.
When Mike and I divorced, we had an understanding that neither of us would move out of the area until the kids were grown. We would not take them away from the other parent. So even when my girls weren't with me at home, they were close by. Then, in July of 2010, my oldest baby decided it was time to leave the nest. And boy did she ever leave! 450 miles away!!! That. Was. Hard!!! Every time she would come home and then leave again, I would cry...and cry... and cry. I kept wondering if it was EVER going to get any easier. So then, last year...she up and got married. I absolutely ADORE my son-in-law, so I thought maybe that would make it easier for me to see her leave after a visit because I knew he would be taking care of her. Nope. No luck. I still bawled my eyes out as they were pulling out of the driveway. "Could this possibly get any worse?" I asked myself. Surely not...
Wrong. Last week (6/12/13 at 7:29 PM) the most perfect little boy in the universe came into my world and absolutely, completely stole my heart. Karson Michael Cole was born. I had the indescribable privilege of being present for his birth (something for which I will be eternally thankful to my daughter and son-in-law!). I have also had the privilege of staying with the new little family for the last 10 days to help out as they become acclimated to their new lives. I have cooked a little...and done a little laundry. Just pretty much tried to help Kerri in any way I could. I have also been able to hang out with that beautiful boy a bunch too... you know, the "Nana/Karson bonding" thing.
But now. whew....this is where the anxiety thing comes in.
It is now time for me to go home. Kerri is doing a FANTASTIC job. I am SO very proud of her! She is just the BEST little mommy! Of course I never doubted that she would be. She has always been great with kids. And Karson truly is a perfect baby. He rarely cries. He just eats and sleeps and looks around and checks out this crazy world he was brought in to. So I honestly don't feel that Kerri needs me anymore.
Rog really thought I was going to stay until the first week of July. And I probably would have if things had not gone as smoothly as they have. But I do think it's time. And I hate it. I absolutely, positively, from the depth of my soul...HATE it. In less than 24 hours I am going to have to get in that car and ride (there is no possible way I could drive. I would be a hazard to myself and everyone else on the road) for 6 hours knowing that I'm not going to get to see that precious bundle again for at least 3 weeks! But worse than THAT (in my head) is that he's not going to get to see ME!! I have this horrible thought in my head that he's not going to know me...that when he finally does see me, he's going to be hesitant to come to me...he's going to run and hide because I'm a stranger. That makes me totally sick at my stomach. So I am having a MAJOR case of separation anxiety.
It's going to be hard. Very very hard. But it's life, and I have to figure out how to handle it.
Monday, March 11, 2013
Regrets, I've had a few....
Good ol' Frank Sinatra. He could sure belt out a tune couldn't he? One of his most popular songs would probably be "My Way". Although I'm not a big fan of Old Blue Eyes, I am pretty familiar with this song.
For some reason, that line of the second verse came to mind the other day. "Regrets, I've had a few..." Boy, isn't THAT the truth!! In my case, though, it's a little more than a few...ok a LOT more than a few. As I was thinking along this line, scenes from my life started playing in my head. It wasn't a very good movie. Every event was something I really regretted. Decisions I made in regards to my family and my first marriage. Yeah. There were LOTS of regrets there! Choices I made in relation to my girls. Oh man! SO many times I screwed up over the years where my girls are concerned. The list kept getting longer and longer! I started to get pretty bummed out! I said to myself, "GEEZ Kim!! Have you done ANYTHING you don't regret??" Immediately, two things popped into my head.
Yep! Marrying Roger. NO regrets there. He's the greatest gift I have ever been given. Even though the last six years have not been total wedded bliss, even in the tough times, I have never regretted making the decision to marry him. But the other thing that came to mind was the most important one.
My decision when I was six years old to become a follower of Christ, a Christian.
This past Sunday, a precious lady made that decision at our church. I don't know her. I've seen her at church, and I've talked to her maybe once, but I don't really know her. But as she was at the altar, asking Jesus to be the Lord of her life, I was thinking, "My sister, you will NEVER regret this decision."
So many relationships that we have, even the really great ones, can at times, lead to regrets. I don't know of anyone who goes into a marriage planning on getting divorced. Or when you first hold that new baby, you don't plan for him or her to break your heart eighteen years in the future. It's just the way it is. Because we are human, we screw up. Sometimes pretty badly. Those screw ups typically carry with them, regrets. But I can tell you in ALL honesty, when you make the decision to give your life to Christ, you will never regret it. Now please don't misunderstand me here. I'm NOT saying that your life instantly becomes a bed of roses when you become a Christian. That is for SURE not the case. In this demented world in which we live, it is becoming harder and harder for Christians. For example, I am 100%, completely, adamantly opposed to homosexual relationships. The fact that my stepson has chosen to embrace that lifestyle does not change my beliefs one iota. I believe homosexuality is a sin. You know WHY I believe that? Because it says so in the Bible...and I believe the Bible. Well, if I take a stand on that issue, my more liberal thinking friends start bashing me for being "closed minded". They call me a homophobe, and most of them try to throw out Bible verses (which they take TOTALLY out of context) to refute my stand. All of these "free thinkers" get downright ugly because I choose to take a stand against them on this particular issue. The same thing is true with pretty much ANY "social" issue. Any time I choose to take a stand on an issue because of my personal, religious convictions, I run the risk of being ridiculed by the "equal rights" activists. But I have no regrets. Is it easy to take being made fun of because of my choices? Well...no. I don't like it. But I have absolutely NO regrets about the fact that I'm a Christian.
One more thing here...let me be VERY clear about this. I. AM. NOT. PERFECT. I went through a period of time in my life that I totally turned away from God. In my warped way of thinking, I KNEW I had screwed up pretty bad, and I was quite sure God didn't want anything to do with me. I was an embarrassment to Him. I had done things that I KNEW were contrary to His word. My life was a total mess! But...I was the one who walked away. HE didn't. HE was there all the time, like the old song says, waiting patiently in line. And when I finally figured out that I was tired of wallering in the pig pen (look up the story in Luke 15), He was there to welcome me back home.
So do I have regrets regarding my Christian life? Yes... I regret I brought shame to my Lord because of the STUPID choices I made. I regret I have not lived EVERY day sold out to Him. I regret that I have let other people and other things get in the way of my relationship with my heavenly Father. But do I regret BEING a Christian. NEVER. EVER.
A relationship with Jesus is the ONE relationship that you can be 100% SURE will NEVER cause you to have regrets.
I pray that one day, when I stand before Him, He will be able to say to me, "Well done, Kim. I'm proud of you for doing it My way."
For some reason, that line of the second verse came to mind the other day. "Regrets, I've had a few..." Boy, isn't THAT the truth!! In my case, though, it's a little more than a few...ok a LOT more than a few. As I was thinking along this line, scenes from my life started playing in my head. It wasn't a very good movie. Every event was something I really regretted. Decisions I made in regards to my family and my first marriage. Yeah. There were LOTS of regrets there! Choices I made in relation to my girls. Oh man! SO many times I screwed up over the years where my girls are concerned. The list kept getting longer and longer! I started to get pretty bummed out! I said to myself, "GEEZ Kim!! Have you done ANYTHING you don't regret??" Immediately, two things popped into my head.
Yep! Marrying Roger. NO regrets there. He's the greatest gift I have ever been given. Even though the last six years have not been total wedded bliss, even in the tough times, I have never regretted making the decision to marry him. But the other thing that came to mind was the most important one.
My decision when I was six years old to become a follower of Christ, a Christian.
This past Sunday, a precious lady made that decision at our church. I don't know her. I've seen her at church, and I've talked to her maybe once, but I don't really know her. But as she was at the altar, asking Jesus to be the Lord of her life, I was thinking, "My sister, you will NEVER regret this decision."
So many relationships that we have, even the really great ones, can at times, lead to regrets. I don't know of anyone who goes into a marriage planning on getting divorced. Or when you first hold that new baby, you don't plan for him or her to break your heart eighteen years in the future. It's just the way it is. Because we are human, we screw up. Sometimes pretty badly. Those screw ups typically carry with them, regrets. But I can tell you in ALL honesty, when you make the decision to give your life to Christ, you will never regret it. Now please don't misunderstand me here. I'm NOT saying that your life instantly becomes a bed of roses when you become a Christian. That is for SURE not the case. In this demented world in which we live, it is becoming harder and harder for Christians. For example, I am 100%, completely, adamantly opposed to homosexual relationships. The fact that my stepson has chosen to embrace that lifestyle does not change my beliefs one iota. I believe homosexuality is a sin. You know WHY I believe that? Because it says so in the Bible...and I believe the Bible. Well, if I take a stand on that issue, my more liberal thinking friends start bashing me for being "closed minded". They call me a homophobe, and most of them try to throw out Bible verses (which they take TOTALLY out of context) to refute my stand. All of these "free thinkers" get downright ugly because I choose to take a stand against them on this particular issue. The same thing is true with pretty much ANY "social" issue. Any time I choose to take a stand on an issue because of my personal, religious convictions, I run the risk of being ridiculed by the "equal rights" activists. But I have no regrets. Is it easy to take being made fun of because of my choices? Well...no. I don't like it. But I have absolutely NO regrets about the fact that I'm a Christian.
One more thing here...let me be VERY clear about this. I. AM. NOT. PERFECT. I went through a period of time in my life that I totally turned away from God. In my warped way of thinking, I KNEW I had screwed up pretty bad, and I was quite sure God didn't want anything to do with me. I was an embarrassment to Him. I had done things that I KNEW were contrary to His word. My life was a total mess! But...I was the one who walked away. HE didn't. HE was there all the time, like the old song says, waiting patiently in line. And when I finally figured out that I was tired of wallering in the pig pen (look up the story in Luke 15), He was there to welcome me back home.
So do I have regrets regarding my Christian life? Yes... I regret I brought shame to my Lord because of the STUPID choices I made. I regret I have not lived EVERY day sold out to Him. I regret that I have let other people and other things get in the way of my relationship with my heavenly Father. But do I regret BEING a Christian. NEVER. EVER.
A relationship with Jesus is the ONE relationship that you can be 100% SURE will NEVER cause you to have regrets.
I pray that one day, when I stand before Him, He will be able to say to me, "Well done, Kim. I'm proud of you for doing it My way."
Friday, February 22, 2013
So you can do my job better than I can, huh?
Work is work. Yeah. That's about as profound as this blog is going to get. But let me rant for a few minutes will ya?
Every job out there has its difficulties. Whether you're a professional athlete making a bazillion dollars a year, or a waitress at the Waffle House or anything in between, your WORK is going to be difficult at times. That's kind of a given. That's why I try REALLY hard to be patient with people that I encounter (although I will admit I fall EXTREMELY short in the patience area MANY times) out in public. For example, the little lady working in the deli at Walmart. I could NOT make her understand that I only wanted ONE SPOONFUL of coleslaw. NOT a whole bowl full. Just one SPOONFUL. I said it FOUR times. She just couldn't seem to understand what I was saying. Finally, on the fifth try, I said "Ma'am." and I waited til she was looking at me. "I am eating one hotdog. I only want enough coleslaw for that one hotdog. One scoop. That's it." Her response? "Oh. ok."
I mean really. Five times I have to say that before it finally sank in???
I was very frustrated. How could somebody be so dense? How could somebody... But then I had to stop myself. I don't know what her deal was. I don't know what kind of day she had been having. I don't know what kind of crap she may have been going through in her life. Was a scoop of coleslaw worth me getting bent out of shape about? Nah. Could I do her job better than she was doing it? Maybe. Would I WANT to do her job? NOPE!
My point? you ask...ok. Here tis....
I am SICK TO DEATH of people who think they can do my job SO much better than I can!!!!
Here are some things I know:
1. I am NOT the greatest teacher to ever walk into a class room. I haven't won any awards or graced the cover of any magazines. I haven't been written up in any educational journals for my innovative teaching practices. I haven't had any streets, buildings, or libraries named after me. BUT...I AM a decent teacher. I am constantly on the lookout for new things I can do in my class room to help students. When something doesn't work, I will punt it and try something different. I am willing to do WHATEVER I CAN to help a student who really wants help. I care about my kids.
2. Not just anybody off the street can deal with 110 seventh graders five days a week. I seem to always get the same response when someone asks me what I do for a living. "I teach 7th grade language arts." "Ohhh....wow..." They say with this look of horror on their face. Seventh grade is a TOUGH year. There are SO MANY changes going on with those young uns. Hormones are usually BLARING by that time. And that's why I LOVE middle school. Every day is different! Heck, every CLASS is different. But I've just got to tell ya...you have to LOVE this age group to work with them every day because if you don't, they will flat drive you INSANE!!! And I do... I love this age group. Even with all the rediculous, quirky, sometimes downright stupid behavior. I love them. The idea of teaching elementary or high school gives me the heeby jeebies (probably not a real word, but I bet you know what I mean!)
3. Teenagers (especially young ones) are, at best, embellishers of the truth. (most are just flat out liars)They are NOT going to tell their parents the WHOLE truth. (Just a reminder here...I have three children of my own...been there...know what I'm talking about!!) Teens will say whatever they think they need to say to keep their tiny hineys out of trouble!!Forget the fact that the words spewing from their mouths are about as far from the truth as any spoken words could ever be!!
4. There are some crappy teachers out there. Just like there are crappy doctors, and lawyers, and secretaries, and assembly line workers. There are some teachers who just need to retire or go work in a sock factory or SOMETHING. I totally understand this. There are some teachers who are mean. They look and act like they drink pickle juice every morning, and they take out all their frustrations on their students. Now granted, I have bad days. And there are some times when my kids KNOW they better just sit down and shut up or bad things are going to happen. But I do make a conscious effort not to have too many of those days.
5. The education system in our country is on a downward spiral. More than ever before, we are expected to do more with less. Our funding is getting cut more and more each year. But the "standards" and expectations for our students are raised every year. In my class, students have to be able to read (both literary and non-fiction works) and fully comprehend what they have read, write persuasive essays, analysis of literature, and expository pieces, do research using technology and report on their findings, have a full command of the conventions of English, and be able to speak and listen in a variety of different environments. And that's just the basic stuff. And here's the kicker. Many of my students can't write a basic sentence!! And even worse than that...THEY. DON'T. CARE. I pour my heart into a lesson. I do everything I can to make it as easy to understand as possible. I use different strategies to help explain a concept. I overly emphasize how important the particular lesson is.
And I have a dozen kids who come in without their homework. And they don't care.
And here's where I get pissed off...Oooo...sorry...shouldn't have said that.
But I do...can't help it.
I, and other teachers I work with, put everything we have into what we do every day. We try SO HARD to help kids and make a difference. And then we get the phone call or the email blasting us because Little Johnny is FAILING our class. How DARE we give precious Little Johnny an F!!
If we cared about Little Johnny, we would do a better job making sure he understood what we were doing in class. Johnny has ALWAYS made good grades before, and now he's FAILING. The problem HAS to be US!! We have our teaching methods called into question by people who have never set foot in our classrooms! We are automatically labeled as the "problem" when in actuality, Little Johnny boy has four missing assignments and a 23 on a test that he had three weeks to study for! And we haven't even mentioned the fact that John-boy is CONSTANTLY turned around talking, or sticking a pencil in his ear or up his nose, or throwing paper airplanes at his neighbor. (and remember...I teach SEVENTH GRADE!) It doesn't matter....I'M the problem!
Ladies and gentlemen, parents, PLEASE understand a couple of things:
1. We teachers are ON YOUR SIDE. We want what's best for your child too! We are NOT "out to get" your son or daughter. We are trying with all our might to help prepare your little precious one for life! As I said before, we are not perfect. None of us are. We make mistakes. However, when we make one, we are usually pretty willing to admit it and do what we can to correct it. We just ask that you get the whole picture before you jump to attack mode. We ARE NOT THE ENEMY!
2. Failure IS an option. If your child doesn't do the work, he/she is going to fail. That's real life. Now we are going to do EVERYTHING we can...give all the chances we can...push, pull, tug, threaten, coerce, and coddle your child into doing what he/she is supposed to do. But if your kid doesn't do his work, he will fail. It's that simple. And that's not my fault. Nor is it yours.
So, if you still think you can do a better job than I can....I invite you to come on. Just make sure you have your thickest skin, your steadiest nerves, and your sharpest eye...cause you're gonna need 'em.
Every job out there has its difficulties. Whether you're a professional athlete making a bazillion dollars a year, or a waitress at the Waffle House or anything in between, your WORK is going to be difficult at times. That's kind of a given. That's why I try REALLY hard to be patient with people that I encounter (although I will admit I fall EXTREMELY short in the patience area MANY times) out in public. For example, the little lady working in the deli at Walmart. I could NOT make her understand that I only wanted ONE SPOONFUL of coleslaw. NOT a whole bowl full. Just one SPOONFUL. I said it FOUR times. She just couldn't seem to understand what I was saying. Finally, on the fifth try, I said "Ma'am." and I waited til she was looking at me. "I am eating one hotdog. I only want enough coleslaw for that one hotdog. One scoop. That's it." Her response? "Oh. ok."
I mean really. Five times I have to say that before it finally sank in???
I was very frustrated. How could somebody be so dense? How could somebody... But then I had to stop myself. I don't know what her deal was. I don't know what kind of day she had been having. I don't know what kind of crap she may have been going through in her life. Was a scoop of coleslaw worth me getting bent out of shape about? Nah. Could I do her job better than she was doing it? Maybe. Would I WANT to do her job? NOPE!
My point? you ask...ok. Here tis....
I am SICK TO DEATH of people who think they can do my job SO much better than I can!!!!
Here are some things I know:
1. I am NOT the greatest teacher to ever walk into a class room. I haven't won any awards or graced the cover of any magazines. I haven't been written up in any educational journals for my innovative teaching practices. I haven't had any streets, buildings, or libraries named after me. BUT...I AM a decent teacher. I am constantly on the lookout for new things I can do in my class room to help students. When something doesn't work, I will punt it and try something different. I am willing to do WHATEVER I CAN to help a student who really wants help. I care about my kids.
2. Not just anybody off the street can deal with 110 seventh graders five days a week. I seem to always get the same response when someone asks me what I do for a living. "I teach 7th grade language arts." "Ohhh....wow..." They say with this look of horror on their face. Seventh grade is a TOUGH year. There are SO MANY changes going on with those young uns. Hormones are usually BLARING by that time. And that's why I LOVE middle school. Every day is different! Heck, every CLASS is different. But I've just got to tell ya...you have to LOVE this age group to work with them every day because if you don't, they will flat drive you INSANE!!! And I do... I love this age group. Even with all the rediculous, quirky, sometimes downright stupid behavior. I love them. The idea of teaching elementary or high school gives me the heeby jeebies (probably not a real word, but I bet you know what I mean!)
3. Teenagers (especially young ones) are, at best, embellishers of the truth. (most are just flat out liars)They are NOT going to tell their parents the WHOLE truth. (Just a reminder here...I have three children of my own...been there...know what I'm talking about!!) Teens will say whatever they think they need to say to keep their tiny hineys out of trouble!!Forget the fact that the words spewing from their mouths are about as far from the truth as any spoken words could ever be!!
4. There are some crappy teachers out there. Just like there are crappy doctors, and lawyers, and secretaries, and assembly line workers. There are some teachers who just need to retire or go work in a sock factory or SOMETHING. I totally understand this. There are some teachers who are mean. They look and act like they drink pickle juice every morning, and they take out all their frustrations on their students. Now granted, I have bad days. And there are some times when my kids KNOW they better just sit down and shut up or bad things are going to happen. But I do make a conscious effort not to have too many of those days.
5. The education system in our country is on a downward spiral. More than ever before, we are expected to do more with less. Our funding is getting cut more and more each year. But the "standards" and expectations for our students are raised every year. In my class, students have to be able to read (both literary and non-fiction works) and fully comprehend what they have read, write persuasive essays, analysis of literature, and expository pieces, do research using technology and report on their findings, have a full command of the conventions of English, and be able to speak and listen in a variety of different environments. And that's just the basic stuff. And here's the kicker. Many of my students can't write a basic sentence!! And even worse than that...THEY. DON'T. CARE. I pour my heart into a lesson. I do everything I can to make it as easy to understand as possible. I use different strategies to help explain a concept. I overly emphasize how important the particular lesson is.
And I have a dozen kids who come in without their homework. And they don't care.
And here's where I get pissed off...Oooo...sorry...shouldn't have said that.
But I do...can't help it.
I, and other teachers I work with, put everything we have into what we do every day. We try SO HARD to help kids and make a difference. And then we get the phone call or the email blasting us because Little Johnny is FAILING our class. How DARE we give precious Little Johnny an F!!
If we cared about Little Johnny, we would do a better job making sure he understood what we were doing in class. Johnny has ALWAYS made good grades before, and now he's FAILING. The problem HAS to be US!! We have our teaching methods called into question by people who have never set foot in our classrooms! We are automatically labeled as the "problem" when in actuality, Little Johnny boy has four missing assignments and a 23 on a test that he had three weeks to study for! And we haven't even mentioned the fact that John-boy is CONSTANTLY turned around talking, or sticking a pencil in his ear or up his nose, or throwing paper airplanes at his neighbor. (and remember...I teach SEVENTH GRADE!) It doesn't matter....I'M the problem!
Ladies and gentlemen, parents, PLEASE understand a couple of things:
1. We teachers are ON YOUR SIDE. We want what's best for your child too! We are NOT "out to get" your son or daughter. We are trying with all our might to help prepare your little precious one for life! As I said before, we are not perfect. None of us are. We make mistakes. However, when we make one, we are usually pretty willing to admit it and do what we can to correct it. We just ask that you get the whole picture before you jump to attack mode. We ARE NOT THE ENEMY!
2. Failure IS an option. If your child doesn't do the work, he/she is going to fail. That's real life. Now we are going to do EVERYTHING we can...give all the chances we can...push, pull, tug, threaten, coerce, and coddle your child into doing what he/she is supposed to do. But if your kid doesn't do his work, he will fail. It's that simple. And that's not my fault. Nor is it yours.
So, if you still think you can do a better job than I can....I invite you to come on. Just make sure you have your thickest skin, your steadiest nerves, and your sharpest eye...cause you're gonna need 'em.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
Happy Valentine's Day...no...week...no...LIFE!
Shortly after Rog and I got married, something came up about Valentine's Day. I told him I pretty much HATED that over-rated, money-wasting, superficial, fake "holiday". I said something to the effect of "If you aren't going to show me you love me the rest of the year, don't bother spending a lot of money on me this ONE day". Well, with Rog being Rog and with us having been married for less than a month at the time, he came up with an idea of how to "change my mind" about this mushy, gushy day.
On Februay 7, I received a beautiful card and a gift. Unfortunately, I didn't write down anywhere the gifts that I received that year. Sure wish I had. I do remember they were small things for the most part (though some of them were a little on the pricey side). Inside the card was something that meant more to me than any gift: a short passage that Rog wrote about the First Time he ever heard my voice. And there was a poem.
The next day, another card and another piece of writing. This time it was the "First Time I Knew I Loved You". He recounted the struggle he had trying to come to grips with the fact that he was in love with me. If you know our story, you understand WHY he would be having reservations!
Day 3, another card. This time he wrote about the "First Time I Saw You".
and so on it went. Every day, a new card, another gift, and another heart felt piece of writing describing one of our "firsts".
I was completely blown away by it all. I had figured out that Rog was a TRUE romantic, but I really didn't know the extent...until that week. WHOA....all I can say is...A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.
Anyway....Valentine's Week continued each year for several more years.
As the years went on, though, we had to do a little budget belt tightening and Valentine's Week got downsized. At least that's what Rog has thought.
But here's the point of this whole blog entry:
This year, just like the last few, money has been a little tight around Valentine's Day. Rog was really bummed last week. He said "Today was supposed to be the first day of Valentine's Week...but I can't afford to buy you anything."
Here was my response "You silly boy. Don't be a goober." (since I am SOOOO good with the mushy, gushy romantic talk :\ )
What I meant to say was...I've had Valentine's Day every single day this year!!!!
Here are just SOME of the "gifts" I have received from Rog over the last year:
Being called "Beautiful Girl" every day (even when I look like DEATH!)
Never being lied to
Never being taken for granted
Never being made to feel unimportant
Hearing "I love you now more than ever"
Having the van warmed up on COLD mornings
A new ratchet set
Complimenting me for a good meal, and
NOT saying anything when a meal doesn't turn out quite as planned
Having my face and hair rubbed while laying on the couch watching DD&D
New (more expensive than I would EVER pay) running shoes
The knowlege that my husband is ALWAYS faithful to me at ALL costs
Strong arms to hold me when my world collapses around me
Ingles chicken salad
A pedicure
A haircut
A beautiful card on a random day just because
That super encouraging word when the scale wasn't nice to me
Being told that I'm all he's ever wanted in a wife
Being bragged on in front of his friends
The knowlege that my husband is sold out to God
Singing me to sleep
A week long trip to Florida
A meal at the Marietta Diner
Time with my daughter
Letting me stay in bed til 10:00 on a Saturday morning if I wanted to
Beautiful flowers
And there are LOTS more....but probably my FAVORITE one is knowing that I am going to wake up every day, and he's still going to be there. The greatest gift that Rog gives me is one he gives me EVERY day, and that's the security of our relationship. For so long, I was really scared that he was going to wake up one day and say, "Duuuude...What have I DONE?" and decide he needed to pack it up and head back to Jacksonville. But time has shown me that he WON'T do that. He is totally committed to me. Even when I screw up (which happens way too often). Even when I'm a butt head (which also happens more often than I would care to admit). Even when I'm TOTALLY unlovable. He is NOT going to give up on me and split.
And THAT my friends is what this Valentine's Day business should be about. It's not about showing "that special someone" that you care about them ONE day or even one week a year. It's about knocking it out of the park every day!! And THAT'S how it is for me!
Happy Valentine's Life everybody!
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